We were an hour into a nice picnic trying to find teenage LARPers sitting on a bench overlooking trees that look like they were melting like candles when she turned to me and told me she couldn’t date me. My mind went blank and the colors of the world became more vibrant and the park […]
I’m on OKCupid for the second time. I have no idea why I even signed up knowing I’m not good at Internet dating, but I wanted to see what was going on out there. I even went on a couple of dates. They did not go very well. The first girl talked a lot and […]
I was smoking a cigarette at my girlfriends apartment when I heard an argument breakout in the apartment next to the smoking bench. Him: “You don’t listen to me ever!” Her: “You’re the one not listening! You just keep interrupting me and yelling over me!” Him: “I do not! You should just fucking leave!” Her: […]
Eligible Bachelor #1 Rawburt Mendoza Stats Height: 4’ 11” Weight: 31kg Hair: Blackish Eyes: Brown, copper, ginger flecks and almond Body: Frail and hairy Current Status: Not married in Oregon Looking for: He’ll try anything seventeen times. Ethnicity: Pit-bull Religion: Pancakes Political: Eye rolling Have Children: Not in […]
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