I hung out with a bunch of people that were in their late teens early 20s on Friday, and I felt old and lame. Every time I hang out with young people I remember the song by LCD Soundsystem, “Losing My Edge”. I feel more connected to places than people. This guy that knew me […]
Still having trouble sleeping. At about 4am I went for a run. This was a dumb thing to do. I ran down to the river and back. I felt every punch, kick, head butt, fall, wipe out, car accident, collision and year I’ve been alive. When I got to the river I walked out to […]
After some text messages, emails, phone calls and people coming up to talk to me, I feel like I need to clarify a few things. Yes, I am depressed. I get depressed all the time. I suffer from depression and no matter how well things are going or what is happening in my life, I […]
I’m having a hard time figuring out if I like being alone, or if I need people in my life at all times. Sometimes when people are calling me and texting me, I cringe and wish that they all leave me alone, but when my phone is silent for a long time I get panicked […]
I don’t know sometimes what I should be when I grow up, but I do know that if it was earlier in the last century, I’d like to be a mobster. I think I have what it takes to rule with a cruel hand and am completely capable of enacting the kind of violence needed […]
I woke up to the sound of rainfall and finally got to wake up with a smile on my face. The coffee tasted better, the cigarettes were more enjoyable and my mind could lazily meditate on the water falling on the streets of Portland. Rain makes me happy. I don’t know what it is, but […]
There is nothing like Mayhem to celebrate a birthday. We smashed TVs, toilets, printers and some miscellaneous items with bats and mallets. The girls next door to the bar made sure I did it in a gold glimmering thong. I had pasties for some of the night, but a hairy chest wouldn’t grab them. It […]
This Wednesday I turn 36 years old. Yes, this is going to be that stereotypical blog where I become introspective and think about where I came from and where I’m going and if I’m doing what I’m supposed to be or am I completely behind the bench mark. One of the greatest decisions I have […]
Today was sweater weather. Well, maybe only in the morning, but I could smell rain and had to put my shoulder under the blanket while listening to my alarm clock go off. I have never liked hot weather. Mostly the sun and the heat gives me really bad headaches which turn into migraines, so every […]
I am sick. I don’t get sick all that often, so it kind of bums me out when it happens. It’s just a head cold. It makes me not want to be around anyone and it makes me introspective. I’m not as extroverted as I used to be. A friend of mine posted a picture […]
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