October 30th will be my last chemo treatment and I can get my PICC out and start taking careless showers. I’m sitting in the dark in my apartment not feeling well and trying to pinpoint what is wrong, but I just can’t explain it. I just realized that I have been doing nothing but waiting […]
I am not an optimistic guy. I don’t see the world and its inhabitants in favorable light. I see the worst in most people. When I meet people for the first time I automatically don’t like them until they do something awesome that will change my opinion, but most of the time I’ll keep that […]
For those of you that don’t know, before I was diagnosed with cancer, I was working as a bartender at Slabtown, a rock venue in the Slabtown neighborhood in NW Portland. My plan was to continue to work there after I was healthy enough for light duty, but today, Slabtown has announced that it would […]
I am halfway through chemo – hopefully. This unfortunately the worst it gets. I just spent the last week in a total daze. I couldn’t figure out how to open a bottle of water the other day and I’ve just sat and stared at walls feeling the poison coursing through my veins. I’m so fatigued […]
This is the fourth night I’ve been in the hospital and I might be here tomorrow night as well. They won’t let me out until my white blood cells replenish to a number they think is safe enough, and as of today it was even lower than yesterday. It means that getting sick would really […]
Yesterday was the last chemo treatment of the first cycle. This means I’m 1/3 of the way through. Sharon and I were looking forward to going to the beach Thursday night to Sunday night. Nothing but books, puzzles, roku & maybe a quick game of sequence and the peace and quiet coast life in my […]
I’ve been out of the hospital two whole days now and stayed at my parents’ house. Tomorrow I go back for another chemotherapy session. It’s almost 8:30 and I’m exhausted. I mean that after I write this I will probably go to sleep. I don’t feel like me anymore. This doesn’t feel like my body. […]
Well it looks like I’ll be leaving the hospital today. I’m just waiting for some take home medications and paperwork. Leaving the hospital just opens up the “what if …” part of the brain. I haven’t felt this much fear and uncertainty in 20 years. I’ve almost always known that everything is going to be […]
It all started at 2pm while I was at work at Slabtown when I started getting chest pains. At first I thought I had pulled a muscle, but the pain started to intensify and it started to spread around my left side and my back. It became more and more intense as the minutes went […]
Dry lightning is lighting up the western sky and every time I think I should head to bed a line of electricity crackles across the night. I haven’t seen dry lightning in western Oregon in a long time, it almost seems like I’m somewhere else. My grandmother died earlier tonight. She was 103. To be […]
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