The other night I was walking down Belmont and enjoying the drizzle and listening to Dexter Gordon’s album, Our Man in Paris when I just froze in fear with the idea that I wasn’t going to live through my surgery. It was the panic attack kind of fear. I still am reeling from it and […]
I was getting ready for bed when three loud booms shook the apartment and scared me to death. They were just fireworks, but now I am running on adrenaline and fear, so maybe writing a New Years blog will calm the nerves. Fuck 2014. What a goddamn rip-off. The only thing that I can come […]
There is nothing more demanding than waiting. I’ve been waiting since Friday to find out if I’m going to have surgery or not. While it looks like I’m in remission, I just want the whole thing to be over. I am pretty sure that it won’t be like it was before I went to the […]
It has been awhile since I’ve posted a blog. The time has changed, new people have been elected, people have gotten married, things have been legalized, food will be just as labeled as before and I am doing better. Probably why I haven’t blogged about it, I’m feeling stronger and healthier. I went out Friday […]
October 30th will be my last chemo treatment and I can get my PICC out and start taking careless showers. I’m sitting in the dark in my apartment not feeling well and trying to pinpoint what is wrong, but I just can’t explain it. I just realized that I have been doing nothing but waiting […]
I am not an optimistic guy. I don’t see the world and its inhabitants in favorable light. I see the worst in most people. When I meet people for the first time I automatically don’t like them until they do something awesome that will change my opinion, but most of the time I’ll keep that […]
For those of you that don’t know, before I was diagnosed with cancer, I was working as a bartender at Slabtown, a rock venue in the Slabtown neighborhood in NW Portland. My plan was to continue to work there after I was healthy enough for light duty, but today, Slabtown has announced that it would […]
I am halfway through chemo – hopefully. This unfortunately the worst it gets. I just spent the last week in a total daze. I couldn’t figure out how to open a bottle of water the other day and I’ve just sat and stared at walls feeling the poison coursing through my veins. I’m so fatigued […]
This is the fourth night I’ve been in the hospital and I might be here tomorrow night as well. They won’t let me out until my white blood cells replenish to a number they think is safe enough, and as of today it was even lower than yesterday. It means that getting sick would really […]
Yesterday was the last chemo treatment of the first cycle. This means I’m 1/3 of the way through. Sharon and I were looking forward to going to the beach Thursday night to Sunday night. Nothing but books, puzzles, roku & maybe a quick game of sequence and the peace and quiet coast life in my […]
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