Meditation for May 17th, 2016
A Peace of War
Did you know that you are overreacting when it comes to war because there are rules? That’s right, you can’t fight a war on earth without following some basic rules to make sure that it is fought equally and humanly. You can’t just go charging at each other all willy-nilly and all.
The rules are govern by the Geneva Comvention and enforced by the United Nations who run around the battlefield in blue helmets and vertically stripped black & white shirts calling fouls every time one of the sides break one of the Conventions’ rules.
One of the first rules is not shooting at the wounded and their caretakers. This means you can only shoot a person once per war. If you are shot by *Mr. ISIS and after being treated at the infirmary and then went back to the line, *Mr. ISIS is not allowed to shoot you again. He must take aim at another person. This also means that *Mr. ISIS is not allowed to shoot the medic who is bravely carrying off the battlefield. The first rule is out of dignity and the second is just good manners.
*In normal circumstances it would be sexist to assume that a member of ISIS would be a male, but women aren’t allowed to fight for ISIS due to the period blood attracting bears as stated in the Quron.
Then they decided that the previous rules oughta cover shipwreck soldiers. Shooting sailors on a boat: fine. Shooting sailors while they swim is just poor taste, man.
Sometimes a soldier is tired of being shot at, bombed, food and supplies cut off, officers living the life of luxury in the rear while they sleep in a muddy blood filled fox hole, so they surrender. Treat them well. It is the thought of the Geneva Convention that a Prisoner of War be treated humanly when in your care and not to be tortured. Torture is just terrible form. Just ask nicely and maybe they will tell you all about the enigma code.
The Convention also does not allow for killing or bombing civilians. I have a personal issue with this rule due to the fact that it makes it harder to understand who is the bad guys. A whole country is much easier to bomb and kill then just some of them. All Muslims being terrorists would make the war on terror much easier to fight. Right?
Some other rules are the restriction of chemical warfare, but this is under The Hague Convention, which made World War II less fun, but you do still have your grandpapa and therefore you exist, and that’s boring.
So the next time you hear some hippy going off about how terrible war is and doot-dee-doo, let them know that not only has barely anyone died due to war since World War II, but there are rules just like boxing.
Prayer
Mars,
People say war is chaos,
But it is the very nature of law.
We are our own predator.
War thins the population,
So we can have access to more recourses.
Our economy is driven by the machines of war.
It wasn’t Social Security and FDR’s Public Work Administration,
But it was World War II.
Watch the soldiers march in a single file line.
See the tanks roll in unison.
See the bombs make a line of scorched earth.
Order.
Chaos is in the civilians who just read about war.
They’ll just die of disease and car accidents.
Not from honor and real purpose.
Let me die of a bullet in the dome,
And not from old age.
Amen.
Craft
If you can’t die from fighting for your country then you should perform Seppuku.
Seppuku is when you lay in a bathtub full of lard, giving yourself a massage.
Seppuku is also when a person eats sushi with a fork. WITH A FORK!
Goal
Accept war. It will never ever go away. As long as there’s sex there will be battle.
Kill or be killed.