Meditation for June 19th, 2016
Getting Away
You can’t keep up that urban life for long before you just snap. You need to get somewhere where your stupid phone doesn’t get any reception and stare stupidly into a fire like a Neanderthal.
That is what my girlfriend and I just did – hence the lack of meditation inspirations these last few days. I know, I should have given you a heads up, but I needed to leave everything behind including you dear readers.
We ventured out into the wilderness that climbs down steep hills into Detroit Lake.
Rain
It rained right when we got there Friday night just as light was disappearing. We put up the tent and got a fire going right away.
This camping trip was to celebrate our one year anniversary. We wanted to get out of town away from the bombs, the guns, the hate, the Trumps, the hating of Trumps and all the rest of the hate.
Here we were in the dwindling light of day trying to put our campsite together in time and before we froze to death covered in rain, also I am sick.
We did it fast, efficiently and without fighting. Not even a snide comment.
One year would mean certain doom to a couple trying to put together a campsite in the rainy dark. One year between two people, one a planner and a future tripper and the other a let’s just see what happens and a past tripper, and was able to achieve the things that cause divorces, we put together a campsite.
When we woke up, we woke up to the pitter patter of rain on our tent. We just stared at the roof of our tent watching and listening to the raindrops hitting the tent and rolling down the side. Too cold and wet to get up yet to try and make a fire.
Finally the rain won and we got up and got out there and made a fire and made our coffee, sausage and eggs. We did it with enjoyment and pride.
This lady who I have spent the last year with made a tarp cave for us to sit under while we stared at the fire in the rain.
It was enjoyable. No cell phones, no radio (except the dozen country radios playing at other camps) just two people camping like Oregonians under a tarp in the rain staring at a fire.
Dog
My girlfriend is taking care of a little dog named Chica for a few weeks, and this chihuahua came camping with us.
She was miserable the whole time.
Things Chica doesn’t like:
Rain
Cold
Outside
Noises
Too quiet
Ground squirrels
Chimpmunks
Other dogs
People
Nicole
Me
The soft fabric between multiverses
To say the least about Chica would to just say she shook and whined the whole time. She was only happy when we retired at night and she would crawl into our sleeping bags with us and steal the heat.
Racism
We were escaping a lot of the hard news as of late when we heard a man yelling at his 17 year old daughter about Black Lives Matter being a terrorist group. He yelled about her being racist for standing up for blacks rather than her own race. She stood up for herself and he just kept calling her an idiot.
This went on for awhile. He was a big hunk of man with a Mohawk and had been drinking shots of fireball whisky.
He said black people were making themselves losers and all the things that happen to them were there own fault.
I was so mad I was shaking. I wanted to go crashing through the underbrush and nut him with a hatchet. I wanted to come out of the dark trees into the firelight with a campchair and got ready for a scary debate about racism and parenting.
I decided to not do anything. Was I right? I don’t know when I can stand up for something and when I’m just being a violent hero.
We tried to escape the racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia of Facebook and urban living and we were hearing it in a few campgrounds over.
The next morning, the host lady came down to their camp and said that she had a lot of complaints and that she alerted the marshals (we were in a federal park) about some child abuse and if she caught wind of that again she would have the lot expelled. She sped off in her golf cart with her silent husband in the passenger seat. She had that grandma don’t give a fuck anymore attitude.
Partnership
I have found someone that is a balance between the most loving and caring person I know and a complete challenge – or pain in the ass.
She takes care of me in the ways that only a person with a truly good selfless heart can take care of someone. She considers me in all her decision making and she is so sweet to me.
I have a true partner in her. She is the love of my life and I am glad that we have found each other.
It wasn’t the best time to begin a relationship last year. I was healing and recuperating from cancer and all the surgeries from that and she was just getting sober and out of a relationship. If you would have looked at these two people on paper, wise person might have suggested,
“DON’T DO IT!!! ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER THIS RELATIONSHIP!!!! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!”
But it worked in spite of all the challenges. We still work at it. We work at it because we want it to work. We both have had to come out of our comfort zones to figure out ways to make this relationship work and better.
I just want to make her better.
I love her and I am lucky to be spending time with such a beautiful, wonderful, wise, creative, comedic genius, brilliant, sexy, bright, mystical and perfectly imperfect girl.
I didn’t need to get away to see that, but things need to be celebrated to be grateful for it.
Sick
I was sick the entire time we were gone. I have been sick basically since last weekend. My throat is dry and scratchy, my nose is crusted in boogers, my sinuses are inflamed and stuffed, I have a headache that sometimes feels like a fever and my lungs feel heavy.
I still went to my job and went camping you weak asses!