Meditation for July 4th, 2016
Glossary of Terms – Part I
Here is a quick rundown of terms we use here at the David Everett Fisher Cracked Pot Meditations HQ so you know what we are talking when we are talking about meditation practices. Some of these are well known terms, some of these are well known but maybe you are confused by the definition and some of these you may not know.
Aura – When your body ejaculates celestial light, picking up the flavor or emotional well-being of the person walking in the body.
Buddha – Trust fund kid who hangs out showing off his or her knowledge that their parents paid for at the private school they dropped out of.
Crystals – Earth’s vibration measuring sticks attuning to different frequencies of psychic awareness between conscience and sub-conscience.
Deja-Vu – Experiencing the experience of a past life having experiencing the same experience, or a moment realized sub-consciencely psychically.
Discarnate – The body throwing up the soul into the atmosphere to dissipate or bother people.
Dowser – A person who can find water. Usually uses a stick. Usually an idiot. I meant special. I meant a medium.
Ectoplasm – Pus
Esoteric – The knowledge of the ages. Usually the unreadable language of time.
ESP – Super sensitive and extrasensory perceptive person who cries a lot for no reason at all.
God – A made up word.
Guru – One who is crowned and master of your spiritual life. One who receives your soul as payment for finding happiness in life.
Holistic – That the body, the mind and the soul is one. Treat the soul and the body and mind will follow. Smoke weed. 4:20.
Homeopathy – Treating a sickness with a sickness. Treating HIV with the common cold. Methadone for a heroin addiction.
Karma – Your psychic debt. A hot topic because as of right now psychic banks have been selling packages of bad karma with good karma to people when the people who owe the karma are going to be unable to repay the karma because they borrowed it without any means to pay it back. Karma economy has taken a nose dive and governments and holy people are scrambling to hold up the psychic banks because they thought the psychic banks were too big to fail.
Mandala – A design that is usually found at spiritual hot spots such as grocery store check outs that one colors because they have tapped all they can mentally so they must color to get by the rest of the wretched time left on earth.
Mantra – A word repeated over and over again causing one to go into a trance like state and forget anything of substance. Usually one word. One syllable. It’s a word, not a movie, book or person. No! Look at my hands! Look at my hands, Jack! Does it look like I’m shopping, Jack?!? Jack, you are the worse charade partner ever! It was Ohm! Ohm! Not digging flowers out of the White House, Jack.
Medium – One with the touch. Usually a person that could not absorb knowledge from this plane allowing them to be fragile to the very fabric of reality in the aspect of space and time so information that isn’t readily known in our time and place is known to them. Usually really slow at shopping at co-ops.
Nirvana – A place of enlightenment. Usually caused by the perfect mixture of drugs, but can be attained by meditation, but drugs is much quicker and the meditation path is long, hard and usually isn’t that comfortable. The drug nirvana might be expensive, but you can remain cool and social while a true meditation practice requires years of isolation and study. Do the drugs. 4:20.
Numerology – The use of numbers to find answers in the future or present situations. Just like
is what you are going to have for pizza next week.
Occultism – Study this and you will find the Nazi gold!
Ohm – The sound Brahma makes when She snores.
Ouija Board – A game that you play with your dead grandma. Usually she instructs you to murder your entire family. Hilarity ensues.
Paranormal – The senses above and around our own abilities. Usually called science or religion depending if your left or right handed (or brained).
Pentagram – A marking that usually means something is metal. Confused with satanism and devil worship, but it just means stoned. Shit. 4:20…
Precognition – The ability to see huge future events in details and then tell everyone which then spooks the shit out of them and then they react to this possible catastrophic future event getting ready for it. The chances of it happening is one in 400,000,000,000,000,432.798.
Reincarnation – Your soul has to achieve perfection. Your soul has to keep trying again and again and again and again and again…until it does it right. You are probably not doing life perfectly. To illustrate, take a video game. You have a set amount of lives. You get to achieve more lives by doing something pretty swell during your life, but if you really mess up, Death takes you and you start over, and this is where it gets different from video games, not at the beginning of the level you started at, but at a whole new level where nothing is recognizable and you have no memory of your last lives, so no experience will help you in this new life. You could read history and try to not make the mistakes they made, but history is boring.
Retrocognition – Being really into history – as long as a fucking ghost is telling you about it.
Seance – Using a medium, a group of people get together and attract a dead conscience with life force and asking it questions. Dead are notorious practical jokers, so be careful of the answers. One time this guy named Joseph Smith tried a seance and fell for whatever the ghost told him and now we have the Church of Latter-Day Saints: Mormons.
Shaman – A very crazy person that you listen to and in the insane ramblings you hear some kind of sense and you take it like you heard it from a wise person.
Synergy – Marketing term to make you buy a product. Either you think it is science or woo woo.
Taoism – The philosophy of being dumb.
Tarot Cards – A series of cards that represent the universes symbols to help a mortal understand the mysteries. Like poker, but instead of gambling money, you are gambling souls. Tarot Cards were replaced by Dungeons and Dragons in the late seventies as a gateway ritual for devil worshippers.
Telekinesis – Moving shit with just your mind.
Telepathy – Talking shit with someone using your mind. Like the words are never said out loud, but you can hear it in your brain. It’s like your mouth is throwing your voice, but no one not gifted with telepathy can hear it, and the voice sinks into the brain of one who is gifted with telepathy and that person hears the shit you said but no one else does.
Third Eye – The sub-conscience ability to see. Usually closed or “blind”. Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…I’m packed and I’m holding I’m smiling, she’s living, she’s golden. She lives for me, says she lives for me. Ovation, her own motivation. She comes round and she goes down on me. And I make her smile, like a drug for you. Do ever what you wanna do, coming over you. Keep on smiling, what we go through. One stop to the rhythm that divides you. And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse. Chop another line like a coda with a curse. Come on like a freak show takes the stage. We give them the games we play, she said…I want something else, to get me through this Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby I want something else, I’m not listening when you say good-bye Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…The sky was gold, it was rose I was taking sips of it through my nose. And I wish I could get back there, someplace back there. Smiling in the pictures you would take. Doing crystal meth, will lift you up until you breakIt won’t stop, I won’t come down. I keep stock with the tick-tock rhythm, I bump for the drop. And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given. Then I bumped again, then I bumped again I said…How do I get back there, to the place where I fell asleep inside you. How do I get myself back to the place where you said…I want something else, to get me through this. Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby. I want something else, I’m not listening when you say good-bye. I believe in the sand beneath my toes. The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling. I believe in the faith that grows. And the four right chords can make me cry. When I’m with you I feel like I could die. And that would be alright, alright. And when the plane came in, she said she was crashing. The velvet it rips in the city, we tripped on the urge to feel alive. Now I’m struggling to survive, those days you were wearing that velvet dress. You’re the priestess, I must confess. Those little red panties they pass the test. Slide up around the belly, face down on the mattress. One. And you hold me, and we’re broken. Still it’s all that I wanna do, just a little now. Feel myself, heading off the ground. I’m scared, I’m not coming down. No, no. And I won’t run for my life. She’s got her jaws now, locked down in a smile. But nothing is alright, alright. And I want something else, to get me through this life. Baby, I want something else. Not listening when you say…Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye. Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…The sky was gold, it was rose (Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…)I was taking sips of it through my nose (Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…) And I wish I could get back there (Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…) Someplace back there, in the place we used to start (Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…) I want something else (Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…)
Warlock – A male witch. Big nose, pointy hat, wart on the big nose, laughs a lot about nothing. Just has a penis instead of not.
Yin and Yang – Meaning the universe is either black or white. Maybe there is a dot of white in the black or black in the white, but it is really a black and white world. Either or. Spic or Span.
Yogi – A bear that steals picnic baskets and stretches to sitar music and incense.
Zodiac – The scientific star positions that are in 12 stages. The stare shine gifts and prophesies on the babies born during the stages and therefore we can prophesies our futures by knowing when we are born on the zodiac. Some people think that it isn’t accurate or even a real science, but then how come the Chinese have a zodiac too? Argument won.