Cracked Pot Meditations – Not Everyone Has Had Cancer

   Meditation for April 9th, 2016 Not Everyone Has Had Cancer The sad news is that some of you will go through life and never have cancer. You will never really have anything to really complain about. You will think what you are going through is painful, but isn’t at all a real pain.  I […]

  

Meditation for April 9th, 2016

Not Everyone Has Had Cancer

The sad news is that some of you will go through life and never have cancer. You will never really have anything to really complain about. You will think what you are going through is painful, but isn’t at all a real pain. 

I feel sorry for you. I get to be in a fraternity and sorority of survivors who have been through a very real painful experience that we will never truly get over even if we get into remission. 

You won’t belong to that. You will say something about your heartbreak, and we will look at each other and raise our eyebrows. Your pain is silly. 

You actually have never felt pain. You cry over nothing. Your pain is a child who sees a cut and starts crying. Your pain is nothing but an illusion. 

I take the real pain I have felt and I join other survivors and we meet once a year under the name the Bilderberg Group. We use our pains to run the financial economic programs of the world. 

Cancer gives us the ability to know what’s good for you. Your lack of pain makes it too hard to make the important decision to make the world work. We know the sacrifice it takes to make the world spin. 

You think you’re voting and having a choice in what you consume, but it is us, the Cancer Survivor Bilderburg Group, that chooses for you. Bush? That was us. Obama? That was us too. Theodore Cruz? Yup, we chose him too. Why? Because we know better than you. 

Prayer

St. Peregrine,

Please let me have cancer again.

The treatment is awful,

And I’ll never be the same again,

And even after getting through the treatment I’ll enter a long dark depression,

But the payoff is I get to say and do whatever I want,

And all I have to say is,

“Sorry, I have cancer.”

No one can be mad. 

“I don’t have to do that,

I have cancer.”

Who can blame you?

“Sorry I punched your child in the neck, but I have cancer.”

Who can be mad?

Now that I don’t have cancer anymore I’m expected to be normal. 

I’ll never be normal again. 

Amen.

Craft

Reuben Casserol

Pre heat oven 400 degrees

Spread breadcrumbs on the bottom of a greased 9 X 13 inch casserol dish. Top that with sauerkraut spread evenly over the breadcrumbs. Lay beef over the sauerkraut. Pour Russian dressing on top of that. 

Spray aluminum foil and cover dish. Bake for 20 minutes. 

Remove cover and sprinkle Swiss cheese over top and bake for another 10 minutes. 

Eat that shit, yo!

Goal 

Just remember that unless you have had cancer, you haven’t really dealt with anything. You’re just a tourist in life. 

We are the banks and the government. Bilderberg is Latin for cancer survivor. Illuminati is Greek for cancer haver. 

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