Meditation for May 27th, 2016
The Secret to Life
If you go through the plethora of websites and the cornucopia of books on how to have a successful life, they all say the same things. This is going to be the most important meditation post I write because I am going to share these main ideas that are the common thread in self-help culture for free. You will no longer have to read another book, read blogs on hacking your life, go to seminars to boost your confidence, waste your weekends at useless retreats or climb a mountain and ask an enlightened old man any more questions; I am just going to tell you.
Get some fucking sleep
You really actually need eightish hours of sleep. Staying out partying till dawn or just playing video games until morning is going to take years off your life, make you an anxious wreck and saturate you with depression. Get some fucking sleep. You’ll just have to miss out on shenanigans and hours logged into your video game or internet vortexes.
Eat something fucking healthy
I know Jack in the Box is open 24 hours and also serves breakfast that whole time, but it’s time to pick your foods better. Are you sluggish, your skin all broken out and you smell terrible, it’s because you eat like an idiot. If you are right, your mood would be better, your skin healthier and you’ll smell naturally wonderful.
You don’t have to start some intense specific diet where you have to only eat certain things and not eat certain other things. Strict diets are for control freaks. Just eat a little of this and a little of that. Stay away from too much of this and too much of that.
Learn to cook. Learn how to begin cooking before you become irritably hungry where you have to run to Taco Bell.
If you want to have a shot at a good day, eat breakfast. Waiting till you’ve been up four or five hours to eat a large pizza is just asking to be grumpy, unable to make sane decisions or keep your anxiety in order.
Just keep a fucking schedule
If you want to eat right and sleep the amount you should, keep a consistent schedule. You don’t have to get all crazy controlly about it, but if you just do things around the same fucking time everyday, it’ll do wonders for your sanity.
Get some goddamned excercise
Stop sitting there wishing you were healthier or happier, just start by walking around outside. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, you can feel better, sleep more restfully, get hungry for healthier foods just by moving around more. Put the Netflix away for one hour and jog around, do some push ups or lift some weights.
Stop hanging out in shitty environments
Get the fuck out of crappy bars, damp dark basements, away from toxic roommates & abusive relationships or anything else that is stunting your growth. You don’t have to put up with a goddamned thing.
Just hang out by yourself some fucking times
Turn off your electronic devices and really hang out with yourself. Write in s journal. Enjoy a healthy hobby. Learn to not need a fucking person every time you feel weird. Get to know yourself since you’ll have to put up with yourself for a long time.
Yes, fucking meditate
Sit down and fucking breathe. Don’t try to figure our your future or waste time dwelling on your past, just fucking breathe. It’s healthy, the doctors and scientists say its fucking good, so fucking do it.
Learn some goddamned humility
You aren’t perfect, nor are you a fucking piece of shit. Use your strengths to make the world a better place and learn to work on your weaknesses. Jesus, man, you can always be better. Don’t settle for what you are right now, you fucking suck right now.
Stop pretending you are any good at anything. You will always be mediocre. This goes for sucking too, someone will always suck worse. No one likes a blow hard braggart or a self described piece of shit.
Be a fucking helpful person
Instead of always being concerned how you’re doing and always looking for ways to make you fucking happy, why don’t you actually be of service to someone else. Volunteer someplace and just get out of that self-centered shitty mind of yours. Try to give instead of take in all your relationships. Try to add instead of being all pissy about shit not being perfect. Goddamnit, just be nice to the barista or the cashier for once.
There you go, the fucking secrets to life. I just saved you hundreds, if not thousands of dollars that you would have wasted on books and retreats, cults and gurus.
You’re welcome.