Meditation for April 8th, 2016
Time Machines
Sometime in the future man has invented time machines. They were coming back in time and screwing up our timelines, so they have come up with strict time travel laws to ensure that they don’t destroy time lines and make their present awful.
Your future self has been coming back and trying to warn you from making that horrible mistakes that shake up the future. You have to stay out of eye sight and hope little hints you drop will sway your own decision making.
Do you ever feel like life is hard and the universe is out to get you? It is! Except instead of the universe, it is you from the future.
You might have entered some long drawn out loveless marriage that even kids couldn’t help, so you go back in hopes to silently manipulate you from meeting this terrible future spouse. You may have wasted several years in a career that squashes your passions and zest for life and you have gone back in time to discreetly change your path to becoming a sex coach rather than an insurance underwriter.
I’m the future you pay to be able to go back in time and without letting yourself know, alter your timeline. The rules are that you can’t talk to you without a disguise. You can’t kill anyone. You are to subtlety try to alter your own timeline by sabotaging your past. Get yourself fired, dumped or sick at the right moment. Being pushed into a person that ends up becoming a date, a new job or going to the doctor at the right time.
You are there when you now are having a hard day and nothing is going right. You are ruining your day so that you might decide to do something different. You are stubborn and your pain threshold is insane, so it takes a lot to even make you consider that you are possibly on the wrong path.
Prayer
You,
It is you from the future.
First off, God has been proven as myth,
So stop being shy when you masturbate.
Buy those toys.
I am sending you this telepathic fax,
To let you know,
That you are on the wrong path.
You should not be a teacher.
You are too selfish and egocentric
To be expanding children’s minds.
You end up yelling at a kid,
(The kid deserved it, but kids are treated like fine porcelain dolls in the future. They don’t have physical ed or recess in fear of injuries both physical and emotional. Kids get to be as unruly as they want and we as teachers are to respect that rather than discipline.)
And getting fired.
You become sullen and despondent.
Your prospects are lacking.
You turn to drinking rose,
Watching the remake of Sex in the City: Portlandia,
And crying.
Don’t be a teacher.
Be a financial adviser.
The rich are richer,
And the rich are still the best way to getting rich by taking their money.
Trickle down, baby!
Ok, thanks for listening.
The point being,
Give up on your creating a better future bullshit.
The world becomes a dark place when President Trump is elected to a 6th term.
I mean,
It’s not Trump, it’s a hologram with his personality programmed into it.
Trump then uses Twitter to communicate.
Some mistakes ensue from technology being new,
But invading Granada a second time helped unify America,
So it was worth the many slaughters.
Amen.
Craft
Time machine is a tricky thing. You have to come back at a moment in your life that you are vulnerable to change. These moments are few and far between since we are usually so resistant to change. With the help of a chronologist, we see where those points on our timeline are.
We are sent back to a few days before that point. We have no direct communication with ourselves. We can’t just walk up to ourselves and say, hey, don’t be that. Time then cracks like a spider web causing errant timelines to spread out making time fragile and reality lose its tactile feel.
We basically become our own troublemaking gnome. We pull practice jokes on ourselves to ward us away from making that decision. We drop hints, or coincidences, so that we might change our path.
We can, in disguise, directly confront us, but we can’t talk about the future or about time travel. We can use our disguised self as a guardian angel or a sage.
You will know exactly when you change it because your memory will be different. You will have a memo to self in your Google Glass version 11.4.72 about why you are in the past and why, so then you can go back to your time and enjoy your new present.
Goal
There are signs everywhere. There are many coincidences in ones life. We feel watched and see bizarre things we can’t explain. There are frequent sightings of the same homeless person intersecting our lives. These are our doing.
Open your eyes to your future self before you make a huge mistake.
Be open to change so your future self will come back and help that change happen.
Be careful if a big Austrian man asks any questions about John or Sarah Connor.
This is the second meditation I mention Terminator.