After many months of feeling alienated and alone, I have started reaching out and becoming real right in front of people. I can tell you, I have had a hard time reaching out to people and to let them know I feel alone and need them in my life.
“Sigh”, so alone.
I thought about quitting smoking again, but I bought menthols instead.
I finally finished my new outline for the book I keep trying to write. This time I know I can write it. The last outline and first eight chapters didn’t have a character or characters to anchor it to make it a good read. The original story is going to have to be a graphic novel instead.
I have had a respiratory issue the last few days. It sucks because I keep getting snot in my moustache.
I think its funny that people that I don’t even know all that well call me David Fisher or Fisher.
I know I’ve been coming out of my depression because I’ve been relating to people more lately. A few weeks ago, when people were talking to me, I would pretend I knew what they were talking about, and when I was saying anything, they would look blank and disturbed.
Have you checked out the social-network Pheed? I like it a lot. It makes way more sense than Facebook. My only problem with it is I don’t have any friends on it, so it isn’t very social-network-y.
Why is there a bunch of people going to Hawai’i?
I had a dream the other night that I was thrown from a plane and as I plummeted towards earth I heard the song Lucas with the lid off in the distance. I also remember flapping my arms to keep from landing so hard, but I ended up crashing through a tree and the branches tore me to pieces. I remember lying at the base of the tree and about ten to twelve peacocks started inspecting all my body parts and guts and then started pecking at them. A cloud of flies descended on me and all I could hear was their insane buzzing. I woke up.
So very alone.
For fun the other night I listened to a bunch of music some girls I dated in the mid nineties listened to. This one girl loved Ministry and Marilyn Manson. This other girl listened to a lot of Fugazi and Built to Spill – actually a lot of girls I dated in the mid nineties listened to Built to Spill. This other girl mostly listened to Frank Sinatra and what have you, but she owned Pizzicato 5 and Yo La Tango. I also listened to some NOFX because this one girl would marry that band if she could. Some of the songs didn’t get a reaction out of me while other songs made me nostalgic and melancholy.
I need to get a haircut bad. I have this faux hawk that has grown out and I look ridiculous. Should I shave it? Does anyone want to try to cut it?
This week was awesome because I got my Playboy, Atlantic Monthly and my Harpers magazines.
I’ll be working on a podcast later this week; so be nice to me, I might be famous soon.
I have Miami (FL) winning the NCAA tournament.
Am I too old to get any more tattoos?
I actually got made fun of tonight for my age. Maaaaaan.
Softball season starts in two weeks. I can’t wait. I’m already dreaming of hitting grand slams and catching line drives right before they go over the fence and robbing someone of a home run. Last night I wore my glove for five minutes. I thought about sleeping with it on.
Soooo very, very alone.
I will always be crazy and weird. Shoot me if I don’t.