Flowering Stoner Rock & Not Doing What You Tell Me

Jasper, the dog I live with, and I walked all around the neighborhood today and it was weird how nice I thought all the flowers were and the gardens and even was admiring the sun that was out. Every time I thought about it I almost asked myself if there was anything wrong, but I really do love that it is spring.

Played softball today. I played a lot better than last Sunday when I struck out twice. I got on base all but once. We got to play at West Moreland Park, which is like playing at our home field. I was practically raised in that park.

Spent the afternoon writing. That was nice to sit for more than an hour or two and just write. I got a couple more chapters of my novel done and worked on a couple of short stories. I wish I had more time during the week to get that much writing done.

Hopefully my new podcast will be out in the next couple days.

I had a dream that I had to climb these giant cliffs that rose out of a stormy sea. The wind was howling past me almost blowing me off the rocks. I had to free climb with no gear. The rock felt spongy and slick because of the ocean spray and the rain. I kept slipping on moss. The waves crashing against the cliffs were deafening. Someone was yelling to me from the top, but I couldn’t make out whom it was. I kept climbing and it seemed like I wasn’t getting closer to the top but was getting higher up from the ocean. I finally slipped and started falling and I woke up to Jasper, the dog I live with, staring at me.

I’ve been listening to rock music again. I had been so bored with guitar & drum driven music for so long that I had been searching for new sounds that will actually excite me in jazz, classical and experimental. It had happened by accident at work where I always play rock, for it’s the type of music that people that hang out there like, and I was listening to Queens of the Stone Age’s R album and I got hungry again. I fell in love with stoner rock again.

I start taking a GRE class in a couple of weeks. That’s starting to make the future real.

I’ve been single for a bit and I am actually excited to be alone and it has been a month and a half. Usually I’d be desperately trying to get something going and chasing skirts, but I’m pretty satisfied with how simple my life is now. It helped that I had a great weekend with an ex girlfriend.

I’ve had a few conversations with people in the last few weeks and I sometimes get surprised how amazing some of the people I know are. Some of you that are reading this are shit, but some of you are incredible. I know a lot of people that are doing remarkable things and overcoming obstacles to do it. I’m even inspired to try my hand at amazing things when I hang out with them.

One of the only things that I think gets in the way of me doing amazing things, and I don’t usually blog about this part of my life often, is AA. I am juggling three meetings a week and eight sponsees. I have no time between work and sleep to get some of my bigger projects done as fast as I want to. I have been struggling with how much AA do I want to cut out without taking any risks to what I have because of AA. I get resentful at people who have not been in AA as long as I have already cutting out of AA to these great full lives and I feel stuck doing the service. I am in the midst of making some big changes in how I schedule my life.

Baseball is only two weeks in and it is already super exciting. I love baseball. I love the Oakland Athletics, but I love all of baseball. I even love the teams I hate. I love the players I hate and nothing is as soothing and peaceful than listening to a possible no-hitter with a friend and both understanding what that means. When people tell me they think baseball is boring or slow, I always just shrug my shoulders, which just means I think they are too dumb for baseball. Have fun with your ‘points’ and ‘goals’.

I still think that Dave Matthews and Steve Miller Band are the worst things to happen to music ever.

Now I have to get used to my roommate being home again.