Leaving Facebook. . . Again.

I have decided yet again to log out of Facebook. I will log off June 21st. The last time I did this, on September 7th, 2017, I was off for just over a year. I felt better mentally and emotionally. I wrote a blog last time I did this with my reasons.

Then we started doing the Rabble Rabble Cheeseburger Baseball Podcast, and I needed to be on social media to promote that. It was sneaky. At first, I just got on and posted our content, shared it on major social media sites and then I would log off. Then I’d spend a few minutes scrolling. Then it was back on my phone. . . and then it was off my phone again. . . and now it’s back on my phone. Now the world is splitting at the seams and I can’t get my face off my phone. 

Some of what social media offers is very positive. We can connect to those who are far away. We can share our lives and important moments. We can also get large groups of people together under one cause. We can communicate almost intimately with strangers about our beliefs and feel a little less alone. Maybe we can use it to get enough people together to make some real change. 

I also think that it can amplify voices that were lost to the old media. Anyone can write something and send it into the world for strangers, acquaintances, and close ones to see. This has been valuable to getting oppressed voices to the privileged. 

These are the reasons I like social media. If it was just that I would be on it. I don’t mind being made uncomfortable by how I’ve benefitted from my race, sex, gender, and sexual orientation in a system that completely traumatizes those who are not me. Social media has been a great resource to learn about my privilege. 

I believe that if we want to change the system, the old system must die, and a new system will have to replace it. One of the evil systems that is hurting people is Facebook and its satellites Instagram and WhatsApp. 

Here are the reasons I am leaving Facebook:

Privacy. The usual argument for this is that people don’t have anything to hide. The real issue is having everything you look at, read, or have conversations about bottleneck you into an isolated corner where you’re only exposed to what they think you’d like. If this hasn’t had the most impact on the political and cultural divide, I’d be surprised. This is what the Mueller’s report surmised on how the Russians so easily fucked our elections and are fucking it again. 

Most of my friends and family are liberal at worst and far-left radical at best. I have some friends that swing right. The information the different shades of politics and culture are receiving is vastly different. I work with some far-right gun-loving racists, and they are being herded by their Facebook posts into neat little corrals that they will never get out of. The moderates who are all in on Biden are stuck on “anyone but Trump but the system is fine thank you very much and all these problems didn’t exist before him.” Then the far left are all about destroying the system without any thought or plan on a real replacement and damned if it doesn’t just fuck over those they supposedly support. Then there are the real losers (who I am not proud to at times be part of) the nihilists who think everything is stupid and as long as I don’t try I won’t look dumb, by the way, look at this meme, everything is stupid and meaningless. 

And advertisers are loving it. They can spend money on precisely targeted audiences. They can see what emotionally jerking statements they can make about any current event to make you feel safe while continuing to buy from them. Then people share the comments all over Facebook giving the company free advertising. I wonder how much better Facebook would be if it was a paid service. 

Most of the media attention has been on how the far-right have been indoctrinated by targeted media and videos. They report on the birth of Qanon and the many conspiracies that the right clutches to strengthen their position. Did you know that the same flood of conspiracy theories also helped disenfranchise African-American voters from going to the polls? 

Now we live in a society that will just put opinions as facts on frog or Willy Wonka pictures but doubt serious journalists. We doubt mediums that are regulated and trust strangers with no credentials on the wild wild west of industries. This isn’t just political, it spills into medical advice. Doctors are being dismissed for the advice of soccer mom snake oil salesmen and a guy who lives in a garage. 

I believe in the right to doubt and question those that are part of any established institution, but there is a limit to what a layman knows and their Youtube education could kill someone’s child. 

Why doesn’t Facebook just tell us if the article is true or not? Why the fuck not indeed? Advertisers, those that actually pay Facebook’s bills, don’t want you to know the difference between sound medical advice or an interesting news story with the mad ramblings of Joe Rogan and Alex Jones. It doesn’t have to work to be able to sell it! It doesn’t have to be a real story to post it!

I’m not saying that Facebook is everything wrong with the world, but it is gasoline on the huge dumpster fire we call America, and I don’t want any part of it. I want to be free. 

I’m not saying you should leave Facebook as well, but I would think about what you use it for, why you use it, and how you use it. 

I think a lot about the Saint Francis of Assisi’s prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace

Where there is hatred, let me sow love

Where there is injury, pardon

Where there is doubt, faith

Where there is despair, hope

Where there is darkness, light

And where there is sadness, joy

O Divine Master, grant that I may

Not so much seek to be consoled as to console

To be understood, as to understand

To be loved, as to love

For it is in giving that we receive

And it’s in pardoning that we are pardoned

And it’s in dying that we are born to Eternal Life

Amen

It’s weird to think how perfect this prayer would be for making a decision about what to post on the internet. 

Here is what I know for me. I can continue my education to be a better person without Facebook. I can enjoy beauty and art without Instagram. I can send encrypted private messages without WhatsApp. There is surely a lot more for me to do to make myself a better human being, but this is a step in the right direction. 

It is hard to imagine a world where the people that are stuck in my peripheral vision won’t be there anymore. It is even harder to not be in other people’s peripheral vision anymore as well. There is a lot of fear of being forgotten. If a tree falls and no one posts on Facebook about it, does the tree really fall? 

It is hard to ask people to go the extra mile and invite me via text, phone call, or email instead of one blanket invite on Facebook. It is asking a lot of people to remember me when I’m not easily found on the thing we use to see people. It requires extra action and valuable energy to reach out to those not online instead of a passive post, like, or comment. 

I moved to a small town away from all my close friends and family. I understand the risk of unplugging and feeling isolated and forgotten. It is what makes this decision so hard to make. I am willing to risk a lonelier existence if it means more peace of mind and not being a part of the problem. How can I engage in something I so deeply resent, and even fear? I may never hear from some people ever again. 

Now, if I run into you after a long time, we will have some stuff to talk about. I won’t already know about the new car or the amazing vegetable garden since I can’t see what you are posting, and I won’t be there to post anything, so you don’t know if I’ve had kids or abortions or new puppies. You can even gossip to me what our mutual friends have been up to since I haven’t seen their shit either. It will be a fulfilling engagement for sure. 

Just like last time, I get to go back to Facebook anytime I want. I wish I could make a firm resounding decision to never ever go back to Facebook and Instagram ever again, but life changes and I may find good reason to return. I’m fine with that, but for now, I just don’t think Facebook is a safe place right now. 

If I ever go back to Facebook, I plan on starting over. 

And maybe a few of you are saying, “who the fuck are you, Dave, to think it is at all important that you leave Facebook?” The answer is quite simple, I’m not that important, but some of you care about me and will want to continue a relationship with me while others will go on with their lives unaffected by my lack of social media presence. Then there are those who will feel like I’m attacking their core being with this essay. I am. 

The final reason, and the reason I’m ashamed of (and feel guilty for even admitting this) is that my mental health is in the shitter. I have started having nightly panic attacks and waking up in anxiety about the world. I am starting to feel the fear become survival and my base instincts are warping. I’ve become angry and depressed – more than I already was. I have not seen a therapist on my own in many years, and that isn’t good or bad, but I have hit a wall so hard that I called one. I picked up the hundred thousand pound phone and called a therapist. I don’t do crazy very well. Those of you that have known me for many years know that. It isn’t Facebook’s fault, or any of your faults for that, but I just can’t handle mixing my emotional well being with wearing Facebook glasses to look at the world.

I didn’t leave Instagram last time, but this time I will also delete that account. I used to like the pictures, but it has also become volatile and I just don’t want to support the Facebook company at all. 

I will keep my Twitter account. I will need some eyes into the world, and what is on Twitter today will be on Facebook tomorrow anyway. Hell, maybe I’ll post some wisdom on there.

I am also okay with being a hypocrite and continue to use Google products. Technology has become very hard to cut from, and I’m not anti-technology. I only use Youtube to watch British quiz shows and never for education since it will turn me into a Qanon or Christian or some crazy shit like that and believe that the Queen of England is a lizard and that we never landed on the moon. Most of our country’s greatest thinkers went to Youtube University at three in the morning high on Ambien and White Claw and decided that sage will unclog sinks. 

I am a subscriber to Harper’s and The Atlantic magazines which I still get in the mailbox. That not only makes me smart, but pretentiously so. 

BuyIn the meantime, I will be updating my blog more often. Part of me leaving Facebook will make me a little less nihilist, and I will want to participate and even give a little to society. I will post pictures and will write more here. I hope to post some art soon as well. If you want to immediately know when I have posted something, please feel free to sign up for email alerts. You can always email at dfisher13@gmail.com. I will even give you my home address for letters if you ask.