Today was sweater weather. Well, maybe only in the morning, but I could smell rain and had to put my shoulder under the blanket while listening to my alarm clock go off. I have never liked hot weather. Mostly the sun and the heat gives me really bad headaches which turn into migraines, so every time you wish it was 90 degrees and sunny, you are wishing that I will have a migraine. Not cool, man.
I’m starting to get mail from graduate programs. They are even sending their brochures to my parents’ house. The idea of moving somewhere and doing a couple more of years scares me and excites me at the same time.
Now that I have started smoking again, some ex smokers have been down right nasty in their self-righteousness. I am sorry. I am an addict. I will quit again. Cigarettes are harder to quit and stay quit than heroin. I know. I quit heroin and have not wanted to use it in years. I have a friend who quit smoking 25 years ago, and he still finds himself thinking about smoking again. I will quit again, but it isn’t because someone looks down on me and sees it as being dumb or a moral failure.
Now that I got my smoking theme out of the way, I can get on to much more important topics.
Politics.
I am friends with people from both sides of all the debates and political parties and some of you who I disagree with are well informed, well read and I know exactly why you believe in what you do. I don’t agree with you, but I respect your opinion and you respect mine. The rest of you, whether I agree with you are not, are confusing politics with the Auburn Alabama college football rivalry. Colors, tax and birth information comics, straight up lies, convenient truths, exaggerations, pictures that make people look dumb and other idiot posts make me believe that you are rooting for a team, not wanting a better country or making any kind of intellectual argument to make your case heard and possibly changing a person’s opinion with rhetoric and civil debate.
I know that this isn’t all your fault. The internet has thousands of lies posing as truths for you to nod your head, pet your bald eagle or golden retriever, and share it to all your family and friends on Facebook. The news organizations went from sharing the news to having a bunch of talking heads try to spin the truth and lies to their favor and the press just won’t do their job.
So you use Facebook and gatherings to push what you believe is the truth down people’s throats and they just hate you instead and you take it as them being apart of the opposing team. They become uninterested and stop being active participants in our Democracy. You clog comments up with your supposedly witty arguments, but you just look like a lone gunmen/hippy who is way out of touch with reality.
I don’t want you to stop being passionate in what you believe in. I rather you be an active participant in politics than those who are apathetic towards voting and more interested in themselves than the giant world around them.
End political rant.
I am house sitting my parents’ for a week and I am stoked to be able to hang out with Nutmeg the chocolate lab, which my parents refer to as ‘my sister’.
I have a rich and colorful life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I have an awesome family and loyal and dutiful friends. I have a girlfriend who cares about me. I get to do whatever I want without worry of dire consequences and even living with depression has not dampened my ability to live a wonderful life.
I am turning 36 19 next Wednesday.
I’m sure it’ll all fall apart soon.
Then I’ll have something to write about.
Smoking, and toxic addiction in general, is invariably more strenuous and agonizing to keep doing than to keep stopping. One of our mutual friends told me that he was walking down an alley and found a pack of Newports with a bunch in it. Of course, I ranted about how fortunate he was to have not smoked, how it is an awful habit, sickening & everything. Then, on my bike ride home, I found a pack of American Spirits with five left. That’s the only brand I’ve smoked, so I estimated that I could smoke those five and not buy more, as that would serve some ass hat executive who polishes his cue balls with rhinoceros horn oil; and, I wouldn’t ask anyone for a spare, as that is a lousy debt to incur; and, I would hang around ashtrays at hippy eateries like a pathetic vulture; so, I smoked them and made a covenant whereby I may accept tobacco or decline it, depending upon life’s specific terms and my willingness.
My mom calls my dog her “granddog.” Good job working on your anarchistic autonomy! “Depression ain’t so bad, look at all it done for Robert Johnson!” – This Bike is a Pipe Bomb, “Depression”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JbEGQLmOzo&w=420&h=315%5D
* typo, “… would[n’t] hang around ashtrays …”