Down the wide cobbled road, the Fool walked towards the horizon. Poplar trees grew uniformly on both sides, rising tall into the blue sky. It was peaceful. It was warm. The Fool put a little spring in his step.
The road was very flat, and the Fool could see it stretch before him for miles and miles. The trees were carefully planted on either side of the road perfectly. If it weren’t for the soreness of his feet and the position of the sun, he might have thought he hadn’t moved. Everything looked the same.
The Fool thought he felt a rumbling under his feet. He stood still. There it was, a slight rumble in the cobbles. He looked around and didn’t see anything. Getting down on his knees, he bowed his head until his ear touched the ground. There was a vibration, and it was getting heavier and heavier. He stood up and looked around again. This time there was a column of dust from where he came from, and it was getting closer.
Coming at him at alarming speed was a chariot being pulled by a peacock and an ostrich. Driving the chariot was a crazed cross-eyed young man with two faces on his armor’s shoulder plates. The peacock and the ostrich seemed to be pulling in different directions, but the chariot went at high speed directly at the Fool.
The Chariot came right up on the Fool – but before the Fool could jump out of the way, he was picked up and thrown aboard. You can’t walk where you are going! the Chariot yelled at him. Spittle sprayed all over the Fool’s face. The young man turned and whipped the reins, and the Chariot started going faster.
The poplar trees became a green blurry wall as the Chariot zipped over the cobbled road. The armor the driver was wearing was leather, and he had javelins at his side. He was laughing maniacally. This is how the sun used to get across the sky! the charioteer yelled. But now we are the ones in an orbit! Everything the charioteer said, he yelled. Sometimes he pointed at things and yelled things the Fool couldn’t make sense of.
This is mad, thought the Fool. The Chariot flew down the road at breakneck speed. Every time the Fool had the courage, he would try to stand up. He would see the ostrich and the peacock trying to go left and right, but the Chariot shot straight. The charioteer was babbling and screaming nonsense and gibberish, but every now and again he would say things like he was sober.
You can’t just stay still all the time! the charioteer shouted. Sometimes you have to just go left or right without considering it! It was maddening to think that the Chariot made the most sense to the Fool, but he still felt sick and scared out of his mind. This felt like insanity. The road they were on just kept going on and on. It disappeared into the horizon. The Fool noticed that it never turned to night, even though he had been on the Chariot for days and days – or maybe just a few seconds – but above, it was just blue sky.
Once in a while the peacock or the ostrich would make a horrible screeching sound, and the charioteer would just yell, I know! I know!
I use the peacock and the ostrich instead of horses because you can sneak up on things easier with randomness! the charioteer yelled. This is why I keep my eyes crossed as well! So I can see things clearer! I don’t want to spend all day making a decision!
One day, when the Fool had drifted off to sleep, he was awoken by a huge crashing sound. He noticed that the Chariot was still. He stood up and saw the giant body of a man lying across the road. The Fool was probably the size of the man’s pinky. The charioteer stood on the ground in front of the Chariot, hands on his hips.
I had to kill this God really quickly! the charioteer finally yelled to the Fool. No one was worshipping him anymore! We have to return his power back into the earth! Spirits will make their homes in his corpse and eat him from the inside out! They will defecate universes where things can be different! The charioteer seemed both proud of his kill, and genuinely sad at the same time.
The charioteer got back into the Chariot and whipped the reins, and they shot right through the dead God. The Fool saw the universes spiraling around as they were driving through the body. He saw planets, stars, black holes – they flew through a nebula, and the Fool was mesmerized by the bluish-green clouds dancing and swelling in the black nothingness of the universe. The gas cloud had been something solid before, but now it was gas. The charioteer pointed to some pinprick lights in the distance and yelled, That is several million galaxies right there! But I know a shortcut!
They flew out of the dead God on the other side and were on the road again. The Chariot’s wheels wobbled dangerously like they could fall off at any time. There were traces of lights everywhere. Dead god residue! cried the charioteer.
They went on for a few more decades – or it might have been a few more minutes – and then the Chariot stopped. The road had dead-ended into a desert. Or the sand had blown over the road.
This is where you get out! the charioteer shouted, looking slightly over the Fool’s head with cross-eyes. He pointed at a plateau a mile or so in the desert with a figure on top. That is where you go now! the charioteer yelled one last time. The ostrich tried to peck at the Fool, but he was luckily far enough away.
The charioteer watched the Fool turn and start walking towards the plateau. He had given the Fool this ride many times, but killing a God was a first with the Fool. He hoped that seeing the size of the universe would give the Fool some perspective, but he wasn’t worried; the Fool had a journey to make.
The Chariot was there when they made the Fool. They had made him and then the Chariot delivered him to a young Earth. The poplars that lined the cobbled road were just saplings then. If there was such a thing as time, it would be running out now.
Hesitantly, the Fool walked away from the Chariot and towards the mysterious plateau. His sense of balance was off from being on the Chariot for so long. He kept staggering to the left or the right. He was glad to be on solid ground again. He liked to keep moving, but not that fast.