The Sober Aries

In September 2014, I was diagnosed with stage three cancer, and by the time I was done with two major surgeries and four rounds of intense chemo, my brain was fried. I couldn’t concentrate and was full of fog if I tried. I was starting to work part-time and couldn’t do much before feeling a lot of fatigue. There was one point where they thought the cancer had gotten into my liver, and if that was the case, I didn’t have long for this world. The good news was that it hadn’t reached my liver, so I was just done and supposed to return to my old life.

In 2016, I decided I needed to get into a creative practice that would allow me to pull back the heavy drapes of fog that obscured my brain and do a humorous meditation every day for 365 days. I spent every day typing up a fake funny meditation in the form of the stereotypical meditation books published by Hasleden. I took my experience with self-help, recovery, and spirituality and created Cracked Pot Meditations.

Many of these posts were done at three o’clock in the morning after coming home from a truck stop diner that was the home of the meeting after the late night meeting, and I was lying on my back typing it up and positions without any editing. Some of the posts are just poorly written. I give myself a break because I was recovering from a traumatic medical experience that robbed me of my cognitive thinking and creativity.

The Sober Horoscope has become one of my most popular posts ever. I made them based on people having a sign for what zodiac season they got sober and how that would rule their sobriety and recovery. Again, it was haphazardly and rushed so that I could have done better work.

I am returning to the Sober Horoscope again but with more editing and more information. Now that we are in Aries house, let’s see if getting sober during the god of war is a good idea!

The Sober Aries

(March 21st – April 19th)

Experience

It says something for someone who gets sober at the beginning of spring. They have bottomed out in the cold long winter. The nights were endless, and the days were short of nailing the desperation home. 

What gets someone sober during this period? It isn’t an intervention, drug court, losing a driver’s license, or any way that might mean it was someone else’s idea, no the Sober Aries decided to get sober when they decided to get sober.

While they attend 12-step meetings with books and steps listed on the wall, the Aries will have ideas about what they need before doing any of the 12 steps. They will have different exercise programs and diets and join other spiritual groups weekly. Even if plenty of people with solid experience, they believe they have a different path.

Strength

Once the Sober Aries get some time under their belt, they will get some ideas on how to make the 12-step meetings better. Suddenly, without research, they will make motions in business meetings. Sometimes they will take it upon themselves to make changes because voting on things will take too long.

If a meeting stays the same, they will move on. If a meeting has something new and exciting, they will go there. They want constant freshness. They hate the people that share the same thing every week. They hate the same format, week in and week out. Progress must always be happening and fast!

A Sober Aries will have difficulty not being the group’s center, so they will try to find a meeting where they can be the ‘leader.’ They will have a hard time not being an old-timer already. They will insist on their way and ignore the experiences of long-time members. An Aries with six-months will speak like they have twenty-years, or at least try.

Hope

When the Sober Aries get some time under their belt, they will finally find the meeting that will be theirs. Any new blood that comes into the meeting, or someone with time who has moved to the area and started to go to the meeting, will threaten the meeting and the Aries themselves. 

At this time, the Aries alcoholic will start going to Alanon. They will say, “if you want real emotional sobriety, go to Alanon.” They will share as much as possible about this in the AA meetings and maybe even a few other 12-step groups they also joined. 

Relationships

The Aries will bring in some poor soul who isn’t an alcoholic, or even an Alanon-er, to all the events. The fact that their partner is not in the program is an enormous pride for the Aries. It will be pointed out a lot. The poor partner will look like a lost puppy at meetings and sober events. 

The Aries have no shame in public displays of affection and speaking on their partners’ behalf. They will get into a public-affection-off and try to outdo other nearby couples. 

Career

Need to buy a house? The Aries is currently a real estate agent, but you can also buy a big book of crochet cozies, and they will invite you to their garage for a workout sesh for a low introductory price. 

The Aries charge into new and exciting money-making situations and can get themselves over their heads. They are always open to out-of-the-box enterprises. 

Aries make great cops – not a compliment. 

The Aries Pitfall

The Aries will argue at their home group over something the rest of the group is against. They will become isolated because they think the group will suffer from their absence. They will suffer a significant bout of self-pity and blame the follies of others for their loneliness.